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This diary entry is written by Kirti. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Kirti's Mind Theater in category The Little Orphan

Lost girl (Ch.1)Category: Story
Tuesday, 26 August 2008
11:11:57 PM (GMT)
Hi people. thanks for clicking this diary. I'm going to try writing a fantasy story
here on kupika, and, well this is it.

I suppose most people will find my story confusing. I'll try to write it out as
simply and accuratly as possible but that's a bit hard to do when you find your self
on a boat to who-knows-where surronded by complete strangers who claim to know you
without knowing for sure just who the heck you are. What I do know is that I'm a
girl, I have straight brown hair, and judging by my chest I guess I'm a teenager.
I'll be able to write more when I find a mirrow or some shiny surface on this boat.
And one more thing: when I woke up (more on that soon) I had this diary in my
possession. I figure I should mention that or else people might think I'm writing on
my hand or something. Or maybe not. For all I know not everyone is as clueless as I

Chapter one: Who knows.
          You know how everyone has a pivitol moment? Like in one second your life
changes forever, no going back? Well I guess for me this must be that moment
because... I can't remember anything at all about my life before this instant. And I
think that makes this instant pretty darn important. I sat up quickly and took a look
around, taking stock of my surroundings. There was a little cot which for reasons un
known was nailed to the floor, and a small table also nailed down, and a dresser,
which was  presumably nailed down but not as visably. The wall behind me was curved
slightly and only had one window, a small one, which showed nothing but a dismal grey
       "okay, so I'm in a strange place, with no recolection of who I am... And I'm
talking to myself. Great. Just great, it seems I'm insan-"
At the sound of my voice, the door on one of the not-so-round-walls burst open
revealing a short chubby woman with curly grey hair and an apron. For reasons
undisclosed to me, when she saw that I was sitting up she started shrieking "She's
awake she's awake! Shesawakeshesawakeshesawaaaaaaaake!!!" at which point she seemed
to remember who she was talking about because she rushed to my side and started try
to hug me and put her hands on my forehead and things like that.
      "Oh honey I'm just so happy! I thought I might never speak to you again! Well
not that I hadn't been speaking to you but you couldn't hear.... Could you?!" She
said, all in a very loud voice which made me wince a bit. The ground seemed to be
moving and between the shouting and that I was starting to get a head ache. But the
loud woman was looking at me so I figured I should say something to be polite.
      "who are you?!" I said. So much for being polite. I guess it really must
have been rude because after looking at me in shock for a few seconds she burst into
tears and ran from the room. Which seemed to be a bit of an over reaction if you ask
me. Which left me sitting on the cot alone again. On second thought since I can't
remember anything maybe she knew me. But would she really burst into tears because I
couldn't remember her? I mean it's nothing personal, I don't even know who I
am, let alone anyone else. Come to think of it there's no reason to assume this is
anything but a kidknapping conspiracy. I mean I'm the girl siting in a room filled
with nailed down furniture with a round window to small to crawl out of. That reeks
of innocent victime to me. Wait am I even a girl? I should really check, that seems
      But the door opened again and the loud woman was back crying on the shoulder of
a tall dark haired man in a grey suit. How anyone as short as the woman could even
reach the shoulder of a man that tall is beyond me. But maybe that doesn't say much
as my own name is beyond me too. Assuming of course that I have an official
name, which is debatable. 
     "Hello. Do you remember me?" said the man in the grey suit. Really what was with
these people and grey? The short woman had on a grey dress. The sheets on the bed are
grey... Where's the origanality?
     "No. Should I?" I responded.
The man didn't answer my question. Instead he said "What's your name?"
     After thinking for a minute I looked at him and said "Who knows?"
The woman started sobbing again.

‹< Dragon-tamer-1995 >› says:   27 August 2008   691494  
Wow! This was much better then I was expecting! (not saying your
idea's aren't good in the first place!)
Most online stories I read don't put enough detail or things go too
fast. Your story doesn't do any of that! (i'm not sugur-coating this,
I really mean it!)
It almost looks like something I would write...a girl with amnesia,
all the grey (xD) It sound really cool. I'll definatly read more of
this, and give you tips along the way.
If this story could use any improvement, i'd say to try to make your
story easier to read. it all seems to bundled. Try putting more
paragraphs when you write. 
Kirti says:   27 August 2008   149772  
sorry. every year my teachers ask me to put in more paragraphs... I
just have trouble figuring out where to put them...

‹< Dragon-tamer-1995 >› says:   27 August 2008   126447  
Well, Try putting them where a new event happens. Like... hmm...
try putting your "talks" in seperate paragraphs, so people will focus
on what they say... that's all I can think of now...<--Still sleepy
Kirti says:   27 August 2008   846763  
well I used more in chapter 2. which I just wrote btw.
Kirti says:   27 August 2008   732371  
do you think I should just do one chapter a day? or should I aim for
two a day?

or maybe one a week?....oh I don't know....
‹ruthie .› says:   30 September 2008   563585  
Wow! Thats great! Very gripping :]
I wish I could write like that *goes into jelous sulk*
Kirti says:   30 September 2008   518173  
aww.... (I'm strictly making it up as I go along, the moment I try to
plan something the whole story falls apart.)
PeanutButterandJelly says:   30 September 2008   332258  
wow. this is awesome!!!!!!
better than anything i could ever write.
Kirti says:   30 September 2008   998266  
no it's not! your over flowing with creativity! for that matter so
are you Ruth!
‹SqueeneyTodd› says:   30 September 2008   862382  
Amazing. It really reeled me in. Great job!
Kirti says:   30 September 2008   661322  
thanks! That means so much coming from you! I can't beleive you and
Miss_roleplay think I'm good! (granted your both my friends butyour
also the best authors on kupika)
‹♥Kirsche♥› says:   30 September 2008   591735  
wow thats reall y good so far!
Kirti says:   30 September 2008   371754  
and I have seven other chapters if anyone wants to check them out!
(please please look...)
Kirti says :   2 November 2008   953152  
for no particular reason... EGG!
Globalwarming Awareness2007


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