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This diary entry is written by sweet_evil. ( View all entries )
 
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you dont have to be alive for freedomCategory: (general)
Saturday, 8 March 2008
06:36:24 AM (GMT)
i looked at the box... and felt helplesss to its power alll i could think about is
all the time i spent in the book store....and that fatefilled night....

you see i am pagan and with that title i must take on the responsibility of
secrecy....my mother is as well. together we take a class infact its moraly a pagan
colledge we go there for 4 years and then 4 more and 4 more again and then 4 more for
one last term. the first day i went in i waas so nervous i remeber seeing the cutest
boy sitting across from me. he had long brown hair and dark eyes like mine. i remeber
smiling at him every time our eyes met and of course id make that flirt move and
laugh each time he started to air band. his name i caught by my teacher was...peter.
       i distenctly remeber the first talk i had with him my teacher , andrew, made
us talk he told us not to go our sepreate ways and to sit and convrerse. i gigled
like a little girl and as the months passed we grew closer and closer and more
annoyed with each other. but secretly i loved him.although my love was a HUGE pain
LITERALY! he dealt with it he never wanted to see me sad and vice versa. we talked
about EVERYTHING! all our problems he became my "brother-freind" but oh how i longed
so desprately for it to be more. 
       sadly he had a girlfriend with whom he loved very much. every day it seemed
she had done something wrong to him though...i grew angrey with her...even when i
didnt hear about their problems. i also grew angrey with his friends who steped over
him...and his siblings who never let him have a moments rest. once at a meeting he
had blacked out from all the shit they had put him through. i remeber i was scared
for him. then there came the day when after a class i found out something that would
change my life and his too...forever.
        his dad was predjudice against black people gay people and mostly anyone not
like him sadly i fell into the catagory of "mixed" or rather "indean" so when i found
this out my eyes filled with tears. and to top it all off his father beat him and his
mother. not to mention he liked me too...my eyes filled with a mixture of hat
lonlyness love and pain, because this meant that one we  can never be togather and if
we were he would suffer. all i remebr is saying to myself ill kill his dad or ill
become white if i look like michle jackson it wont matter as long as i can have him.
        well the days went on the brusises and scars added up...i cried everynight.
then oneday he broke up with kelsy and asked me out! of course i was exscited and
said yes(with him un aware that i knew about his father) so we went out. and then the
day came. when he came to me with a black eye and a bloody lip i was furious. i didnt
want this to happen to him anymore so i went down to his house, he followed trying to
stop me, but it didnt work my mind was set on this and it would not change
untill...we walked in and his dad stood there with a discrased look on his face.
        i yelled at the top of my lungs "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU CANT
BEAT YOUR KID AND WIFE I OUTTA BEAT THE HELL OUTTA YOU!" suddently he jumped up and
screamed " DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU FUCKIN N*****!"  peter jumped up and swung at
his father. his father grabed his gun and switched its positon back and forth to me
then peter. and finaly bam...he fired the gun into peters head. as peter fell to the
ground i fell crying. his dad pointed the gun at me while my back was turned and
pulled the trigger...
and now as i look at our coffins holding peters hand i feel the icy sting of my tears
run down my face im glad we are still together...being free never means you have to
be alive is suppose. id like it to stay that way. no worries...no hate....only our
love....

this idea came from my friend who IS being beat by his fatehr and we both like ach
other and we probably wont go out

Comments 
Detergent suggests:   8 March 2008   839718  
><... I've never been in a situation like this to understand, but I'm
sorry for you and your friend. The only thing you can do is to keep
living and never give up in life. =] Something will happen.
SeeWilly says:   8 March 2008   832884  
your friend should call an abuse agency or something of the sorts.

i'm assuming that his father is a pathetic man, am-i-rite? figures.
anyone who beats up their children and wife/husband would be
considered a pathetic man. they take out their frustrations on their
own family, and at the same time, they think their family deserves
it.

they think that it's their right to do whatever they want, hence, the
moral of most
 teenagers' ideas.  

however, it's wrong. the father's logic is wrong. every single one of
them.  

i wish the best for your friend more than your relationship. if he
doesn't find his own strength to free himself from his father's abuse,
then even in death, he isn't free. both of them, of course.

i say, tell him to be stronger. i think he's capable of that if he
could ignore the fear of pain and death.
sweet_evil says :   8 March 2008   872595  
thank you i hope so
i hope he will be strong
 
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