Saturday, 3 November 2007
09:57:36 AM (GMT)
So uuum....this is the first annual Boredom Video Game Awards...and uum..welcome and
stuff. Here wit me is Ollie Williams (property of Family Guy and Fox Entertainment,
not me) soo uum...lets get started shall we?
MY GOD WHY DID THEY MAKE THIS GAME!?! Award goes too....Dragon Ball Z Sagas!
This game SUCKED, yes I am indeed
a fan of DBZ, but this game was nothing short of a slap in the face for the
franchise.....it was short as I don't know what, none of the characters uber awesome
finishers where in the game, and the whole system basically sucked....so that's all I
have to say about this one...comments Ollie?
Ollie: GAME SUCKED!!
Next we have the, Game with suckiest tag-along character (doesn't mean the game
sucked, just the character) goes too....ASHLEY GRAHAM FROM RESIDENT EVIL 4!!!
OK, i admit she was helpful,
but nonetheless she was a total bitch.....the constant and nonstop "HEEELP! LEEEON
HEEELP!" never seem to quit, also the fact that she dies so damn easily! Yeah, I know
she's not ripped like Leon is, but still, take an axe to the face like the rest of us
for once! PLEASE!! Ollie?
Ollie:SHE DON'T SHUT UP!
Thanks Ollie we've established that.
Next is the Biggest Perv Award, which goes too........Revolver Ocelot of METAL GEAR
SOLID!!!! Look at that reassuring
shrug, it just screams "I'm coming for you ladies!" ......Perv......Anyway the
reasons for awarding this "pretigious" award is for his groping of EVA in Snake
Eater, his comments about Solid Snake and Sniper Wolf in MGS1/Twin Snakes, I dunno
what perviness awaits us in Guns of the Patriots, but ya know, I guess we'll just
have to see. Ollie? Ollie? Hmm...must be on a coffee break or something
*in background* Ollie:I TOLD YOU 2 SUGARS!!!!!
Next award is The Most Catchy Video Game Phrase....the award goes to......METAL GEAR
SOLID 2:SONS OF LIBERTY FOR THE LA-LI-LU-LE-LO!!! My word this phrase is insanely
catchy, and yet it seems so innocent, yet harkens onto the takeover the world...irony
right...*pause for laughter* Anywayz.....lalilulelo.....uuum...not much to say about
these guys except they're really the Patriots and they're name is catchy ^_^! Ollie?
Ollie: I CAN'T PRONOUNCE THAT!
Here we go, we have my personal favorite....The Most Overuse of Gore and other Strewn
Body Parts,Blood,etc. Award. If you don't know who this one goes too, you're
retarded. And the award goes too......GEARS OF WAR!!
This game just totally kicked
ass, no questions asked. The gameplay is solid...wait....that would be the game of
the year award, not this one....anywayz.....you can blow people in half, smack 'em in
the face with a grenade, have the grenade stick to them, then watch them blow up
seconds later, chainsaw people in half (my personal favorite), and basically tear
people in half in various other ways. Yeah, this game defintely deserved this award,
Ollie: *dressed like The Cole Train holding Boomshot* ......
I think that speaks for itself.....
Finally, it is time for the last award, The "OMG This Dude can Monolouge And Kill
Me!" Award...which goes to....Jack Krauser of Resident Evil 4!!!
Anyone who fought this dude (without cheats of any sort) should know how very badass
this guy is. He totally pwnz...which is why he's the guy I always try to unlock first
for Mercenaries....from his "bitch in the red dress" comment to Ada to his suttle
remarks about how you're death is sure to come...yeah this dude rocks...and in case
you missed the awesome knife fight between Leon and Krauser...Merry Christmas Whadda'ya think Ollie?
Ollie: DUDE'S CREEPY!
Well that concludes my first ever Boredom Video Game Awards.....if you suggestions
for next time...please comment on this page with them.....thanks for ur
Ollie: *holds up dog* WHO WANT THIS DOG!