I can't tell my parents when something's wrong. They end up blaming it on my size.

"I'm always so cold, I think I have bad circulation."
"No, you're too thin."

"Why aren't you eating more?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Too bad, you need to gain weight."

"You should start taking vitamins."
"Why?"
"Your doctor said to."
I can't tell my parents when something's wrong. They end up blaming it on my size.

"I'm always so cold, I think I have bad circulation."
"No, you're too thin."

"Why aren't you eating more?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Too bad, you need to gain weight."

"You should start taking vitamins."
"Why?"
"Your doctor said to."
"OH WELL."
"You don't weigh enough."
"Irrelevant."
"Well you don't."

"You're thinner than you were last summer"
"No I'm not. :/"
"Well you're thinner."

>_>
I hate this.
I get something to this effect almost every day now.
My doctor said I'm slightly underweight, and that it isn't that bad.
I've even tried to gain weight. I can't.

Stop it.
Okay?
:/

jfdshfjkdsladffjdisafofdsa.
><

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I stepped into Peter's room after school today to find Emily rolling around on the
floor, which wasn't really too surprising. Derek and Lucas tried to explain what
happens at a slam competition and how the judging works, which resulted in them
throwing markers and books at each other, Derek complaining about his ripped boxers,
and them hugging like gay lovers, etc. People finally started reading things. Abby
Darin is the DEFINITION of BADASS, btw. Luke read some angry thing in a creepy old
man voice, which was interesting. AND THEN while Haley was reading we decided to
turn all the lights off and just have one little lamp on a table, but we realized
she couldn't see anything to read it. Lucas tried to open the shades, so after
jumping up on the table and rocking back and forth because he couldn't do it, we
finally got that fixed. 
Lucas: I have a hole in my sweater ;_;
I stepped into Peter's room after school today to find Emily rolling around on the
floor, which wasn't really too surprising. Derek and Lucas tried to explain what
happens at a slam competition and how the judging works, which resulted in them
throwing markers and books at each other, Derek complaining about his ripped boxers,
and them hugging like gay lovers, etc. People finally started reading things. Abby
Darin is the DEFINITION of BADASS, btw. Luke read some angry thing in a creepy old
man voice, which was interesting. AND THEN while Haley was reading we decided to
turn all the lights off and just have one little lamp on a table, but we realized
she couldn't see anything to read it. Lucas tried to open the shades, so after
jumping up on the table and rocking back and forth because he couldn't do it, we
finally got that fixed. 
Lucas: I have a hole in my sweater ;_;
Derek: Get over it, every item of clothing I have has holes in it.
Lucas: But this sweater is worth more than anything you own.
etc.

So after some more shit, I turn around to see Lucas (who's probably at least 6' tall
Dx) sitting on a little plastic chair on top of a desk. With his combat boots and
Black Flag shirt. Nothing says badass like that.
...
Emily was still rolling around on the floor, btw, and Derek hit her with a chair a
few times.

Then Lucas and Derek left because apparently they had to do something. They actually
went to the Homestead to get Palmers.
When they leave, we get nothing done. So then we all kinda gave up on that and
left.

And that was my day.

o-o

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Tonight, I'm an alley cat yeah
More afraid of you than you are of me
But if you leave some food out on the porch,
I might stay 'til there's nothing left to eat
I'd be sittin' alone
At a lunch table in high school
If I wasn't sittin' alone at a punk show in Ashville
Hey hey hey
Tonight the upper left hand side of my chest
Has a hole as big as the one in my pockets
I mighta kissed you wearin' a bullet proof vest,
But hell
Tonight, I'm an alley cat yeah
More afraid of you than you are of me
But if you leave some food out on the porch,
I might stay 'til there's nothing left to eat
I'd be sittin' alone
At a lunch table in high school
If I wasn't sittin' alone at a punk show in Ashville
Hey hey hey
Tonight the upper left hand side of my chest
Has a hole as big as the one in my pockets
I mighta kissed you wearin' a bullet proof vest,
But hell
You kiss like a rocket!
I'd be a teenage virgin
Jerkin' off in my bedroom
IF I WASN'T A TWENTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN
THAT DOESN'T HAVE A BEDROOM
HEY HEY HEY
HEY HEY HEEEEYYY
Hey hey hey
...

This is Just Because I Don't Say Anything Doesn't Mean I've Got Nothing To Say by
Pat The Bunny/Wingnut Dishwashers Union.
Derek sings this while waiting for the late bus.
It is now my favorite song, because I finally have it.
If you have MSN I'm sending it to you next time I talk to you, you're not escaping
it.
:D

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I was recently forced to download the newest version of Windows Live Messenger... I
have a Logitech webcam and it works fine, but I can't record voice messages and
people can't hear me during video calls. Help?
D<

Because I've wanted to say this for a long time too.
But it's completely not related to the last one at all.

I hate you.
Really.
You fucking suck.
I'm bad at talking so I don't have anything else to call you, but you do.
When I joined this site, I wasn't very trusting at all. After knowing you, I'm less
trusting than before. Thanks. Although I guess I should have never trusted you in
the first place.
Although honestly I never really did that much.
But you still suck.
Because I've wanted to say this for a long time too.
But it's completely not related to the last one at all.

I hate you.
Really.
You fucking suck.
I'm bad at talking so I don't have anything else to call you, but you do.
When I joined this site, I wasn't very trusting at all. After knowing you, I'm less
trusting than before. Thanks. Although I guess I should have never trusted you in
the first place.
Although honestly I never really did that much.
But you still suck.

Stop threatening people, it's kind of illegal if you haven't noticed. You claim what
people do to you is illegal, but what about everything you've done? I'd say it's a
little worse. If you've done nothing wrong, like you say, I wouldn't be as worried
about losing custody of your daughter as you are. So if anything happens, don't
blame me or anyone else. You know, innocent until proven guilty? You're not punished
unless you do something wrong. 
I've tried to kind of stay out of all this shit, but after a recent issue with a
very close friend I can't stay silent. I've been dealing with this mentally for too
long, and it seems just when I'm starting to forget something else happens.
And also, thanks for the violent shaking, stomache aches and chills I now get
periodically. That never used to happen.
I had some more stuff to say, but I have a pretty bad memory when it comes to
writing shit.
I don't need an essay in response from you, I just wanted to say this.
Don't respond at all, actually.

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Hey. I just need to say this, and I don't know where else I can. Ignore it if you
want.

I miss you.
And how you always called me Jamie.
And how you eventually just gave up on correcting yourself.
And how you drank warm beer and Brisk.
And how you loved crossword puzzles.
And how the only time you showed any pain at all was talking about war.
And how the first thing you wanted to do when you got to NH every summer was put the
flag up.
And how you watched Disney Channel sometimes, probably without noticing.
Hey. I just need to say this, and I don't know where else I can. Ignore it if you
want.

I miss you.
And how you always called me Jamie.
And how you eventually just gave up on correcting yourself.
And how you drank warm beer and Brisk.
And how you loved crossword puzzles.
And how the only time you showed any pain at all was talking about war.
And how the first thing you wanted to do when you got to NH every summer was put the
flag up.
And how you watched Disney Channel sometimes, probably without noticing.
And how you got mad at me for not eating enough on Sundays.
And how you told me to put the ladder away every single day when you knew I'd use it
again tomorrow.
And how you could find four-leaf clovers in a field, without really trying to.
And how you refused to eat rice, but you'd try anything else.
And how you always asked me to play "Far, far away".
And how I always wondered if that was a song or not.

'Kay, I feel better now.
Bye.

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By Creed.

She came calling 
One early morning 
She showed her crown of thorns 
She whispered softly 
To tell a story 
About how she had been wronged 
As she lay lifeless 
He stole her innocence 
And this is how she carried on 
This is how she carried on
By Creed.

She came calling 
One early morning 
She showed her crown of thorns 
She whispered softly 
To tell a story 
About how she had been wronged 
As she lay lifeless 
He stole her innocence 
And this is how she carried on 
This is how she carried on

Well I guess she closed her eyes 
And just imagined everything's alright 
But she could not hide her tears 
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years 
They were sent to wash away those years 

My anger's violent 
But still I'm silent 
When tragedy strikes at home 
I know this decadence Is shared by millions 
Remember you're not alone 
Remember you're not alone 

Well if you just close your eyes 
And just imagine everything's alright 
But do not hide your tears 
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years 
Well if you just close your eyes 
And just imagine everything's alright 
But do not hide your tears 
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years 
They were sent to wash away those years 
Maybe we can wash away those years 

For we have crossed many oceans 
And we labor in between 
In life there are many quotients 
And I hope I find the mean
the mean, the mean

Well if you just close your eyes 
And just imagine everything's alright 
But do not hide your tears 
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years 
Well if you just close your eyes 
And just imagine everything's alright 
But do not hide your tears 
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years 
Maybe we can wash away those years 
I hope that you can wash away those years

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