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Most recent Public diary entries by lillymill:

Your hurt, hurts meCategory: (general)
Friday, 28 February 2014
08:50:47 PM (GMT)
I don't know if anybody's reading this, but...
Sometimes there are just so many things I don't know how to fix. Too many things. 

I never fully understood why divorces could be so hard. I know why now. 
I hate it when people get all emotional on me. God, I can't deal with your emotions.
They hurt me too, because there's nothing I know to do with them. I can't fix you.

February 14th 2014Category: (general)
Friday, 14 February 2014
05:40:43 PM (GMT)
February 14th, 2014

The first Valentine's day that being alone really bothers me. If this single thing
keeps up through the years, I think my Valentine's day will turn into Productivity
day instead.

I don't think it's bad that we have a day to celebrate love. I think it's bad that
the day to celebrate love makes some of us feel more alone.

NonsenseCategory: (general)
Friday, 7 February 2014
03:51:04 PM (GMT)
I'd like to think that this nonsense is not only nonsensical, but beautifully so, like a twirling red ribbon of literacy and language that twists aesthetically across a painting in the dance of a gypsy. A red ribbon; why must it always be red? Why is this the colour that first comes to mind? Red is for the daring and the fluids that course through our veins, representing
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Last edited: 7 February 2014

Better.Category: (general)
Thursday, 14 November 2013
08:24:01 PM (GMT)
Sometimes being 'better' than other people really sucks. I really don't want my friends to feel like I'm better-- I want them to feel like I'm their friend. Not that person whose lowest grade was an 87% on their report card. (Which, in Canada, is considered an A due to differences in grading.) Not that girl who draws better than you, writes better than you. I don't want to be the girl who knows where she's going in her life when you don't have a clue. I don't want to be that girl who always gets that little percent higher on their test. I want to be that girl whose company you enjoy, who is a cause of your laughter, who listens when you just need somebody to BE there for you.
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Last edited: 7 February 2014

Rant, ignore thisCategory: Me and my life
Saturday, 6 July 2013
12:22:21 AM (GMT)
So my sister is going off to university in the fall a long way from home... And I know it sounds terrible but I'm happy she'll be gone. Maybe while she's there, she'll grow up and realize how selfish she is. Honestly she argues about the stupidest things ! Like we're in a hotel and mom her and I have to share a bed, and last night my mom was in the middle, and she argues that she wants to sleep on the edge of the bed because she doesn't move at night and all of this shit because she doesn't want to be crammed in the middle, when nobody likes sleeping in the middle, and it's only fair if we take turns. And then she says something like "you guys never think of other people" . I can't believe she has the nerve to say that.
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Last edited: 7 February 2014

Books are her (my) drugCategory: (general)
Sunday, 2 June 2013
05:14:18 PM (GMT)
She buries her head In the books because It makes her forget Her life and the bland Emptiness of it that she Can hardly stand and When she's in despair She remembers the rest Of the world and their Daily overdosage in pain and for it, she hates herself. But she cannot find a way
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Last edited: 7 February 2014

Floating AwayCategory: Poem
Saturday, 1 June 2013
08:35:10 AM (GMT)
Laughing, gazing at each other like they see perfection there, like they are full of helium bliss and floating away from the rest of the world: the burdened world, stooped lower than the hunch back of Notre-Dame, encumbered by loneliness
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Last edited: 1 June 2013

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