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Most recent Public diary entries by Kablammo_Dude:


Love and MoneyCategory: (general)
Thursday, 31 January 2013
11:50:32 AM (GMT)
In today's world, we put value on almost everything. Certain brands of clothing are considered more valuable than others, despite similar materials and craftsmanship. Vehicles to take us where we need to go cost thousands of dollars, not to mention the fuel we need to get them going. A roof over our head will set us back hundreds of dollars per month and in most cases more than several years' salary. Getting the education and training we need to find a job that we are good at will put us in debt up to our eyeballs. Even getting enough food and water to simply survive will eat away at our savings, and if we wanted to hunt and grow our own food: well, you will need to pay to get a permit or license.
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Last edited: 31 January 2013


Keepin' onCategory: (general)
Sunday, 13 January 2013
03:08:18 AM (GMT)
We all have those nights. You know: the ones where you just can't shut your brain off? All of the memories come flooding in, somehow enhanced tenfold by the silence and the unnatural stillness brought on in the dark. The thoughts aren't depressing but are accompanied by more of a melancholy feeling; you know that the sadness is there but all you can experience is the numbness, as if what happened in your past wasn't even you but someone much more distant. I have to admit that I still struggle with things. Finding a balance between being overwhelmed by the enormity of some situations and remembering the insignificance of others is a challenge that often bests me. Words have become my enemy to some degree... What used to be a great outlet for emotion is turning into something that is picked
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Last edited: 13 January 2013


PerspectiveCategory: (general)
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
08:38:38 AM (GMT)
If I would have told myself this a year ago, I wouldn't have believed it. All it takes to make your problems go away, or at least make them much more bearable, is to change how you look at it. So you've been treated like shit? You can sit around and cry and feel bad for yourself. You can never trust anyone again. You can relive the events over and over in your head.... Or you can look at it as an opportunity to grow. Now you know you can take a lot of abuse, and make it through. That's saying a lot. It also makes you a little more cautious, maybe it helps you make better choices about who gets close to you. People have to EARN your trust, and that definitely isn't a bad thing. So you don't have a job or any money?
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Last edited: 29 August 2012


StrengthCategory: (general)
Tuesday, 24 July 2012
07:54:35 AM (GMT)
There is only one person that is truly going to understand this entry, and she is asleep next to me. I got what I asked for. The voices, the fucked up thoughts, the ripping apart of everything I think I am. Sometimes I can't function. It honestly feels like two separate "me's" are in a constant battle with each other. Following every event in my life, even the mundane, I get an onslaught of emotions, thoughts, and pictures. Voices in my head saying one thing, then screaming the opposite, then repeating the process in an always-escalating shouting match. I find myself hating the people I have always loved, being dragged away from what I have held on to by some unseen force.
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Last edited: 29 August 2012


GuiltyCategory: (general)
Thursday, 5 July 2012
09:07:02 AM (GMT)
I am guilty of so many things... -being selfish -losing sight of what's important -forgetting how lucky I am -taking things too seriously -letting my thoughts get the best of me -allowing things to get bad, then freaking out about how rushed and stressed I am -not taking the time to make someone happy every day -not taking the time to make myself happy every day -forgetting to give thanks for everything -losing touch with the people that helped me through so much -feeling sorry for myself instead of taking steps every day to improve who I am
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Last edited: 29 August 2012


It's been a whileCategory: (general)
Thursday, 5 July 2012
08:50:47 AM (GMT)
I haven't written a diary in quite some time. I've had a lot going on... I think everything is going to work out just fine... For some reason everything works out perfectly at the last possible moment. I think it's a test on my patience, because I always let it get to me, and when I finally relax and accept that I can't control it, it all works out. Bowling Green will be a nice change of pace for a while, getting away from everyone and everything for a few years... I still can't believe how perfect Jesse is. Not a day has gone by where I haven't thought about it. I just hope she realizes how much she means to me, because I wouldn't be able to go on without her.
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Last edited: 29 August 2012


JesseCategory: (general)
Saturday, 25 February 2012
11:08:23 AM (GMT)
I have woken up every day for the past several months with a beautiful girl next to me. I have gone to sleep with my arms wrapped around her. I have come home from work every night to a big hug and a kiss. We laugh, we talk, we watch silly movies. We enjoy each others company, and it never gets old. She puts up with me, and I haven't quite figured it out yet. Things seem to be working out, with school, with money, with life in general. I guess good things do come to those who are patient. I have to wake up and count my blessing every morning, so I don't forget how perfect life is at the moment. I love you Jesse.
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Last edited: 29 August 2012





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