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Most recent Public diary entries by ‹✖[[AntisocialButterfly]]✖›:

(untitled)Category: poemsss
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
05:10:05 PM (GMT)
I wanted I wanted I wanted to say I love you and just leave it at that doesn't matter what I wanted because life just doesn't work like that I'm waking up no more hibernation for me I'm waking up clear minded for the first time I can breathe
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Dreams of Green DesireCategory: poemsss
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
03:43:14 PM (GMT)
Early morning, my dreams of you are a blur But even in my dreams you only wanna talk about her Guess I don't matter as much as I thought I did Guess I don't matter, I'm just some kid Insanity's a fucking party if you make it that way I'm staying up all night crying over you and smoking away the day I had a dream we were in a dark room
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some more sexuality bullshit that no one will care to read.Category: Fuck
Tuesday, 9 July 2013
03:14:32 AM (GMT)
Well okay, so this will be a little bit of a confession; or maybe not. I don't fucking know. Uh, so it's like this: theoretically, I can get enjoyment from sexual things... and what type of enjoyment this is varies. Like, approval. The feeling of not being in control, like someone else is in control, which can be stress relieving and makes me feel safe. But, I still have really terrible feelings about it. My stomach kind of twists and hurts, my heart aches, I shiver or even cry. It never feels right. But my need to please people and get approval makes it somewhat worth it. Plus, I'm just lonely as fuck. And I do think I'm asexual, or demisexual, or something like that. The thought of having sex with someone in real life makes me almost have an anxiety attack. But people keep telling me I'm just going to find a guy who will be content with just cuddling and kissing, and no sex, and I think that's probably true. So does that mean I'd have to have sex with him just to please
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The Fall of the House of GhettoCategory: Life
Sunday, 7 July 2013
11:32:41 PM (GMT)
Welp, my bathroom floor had been covered in black mold for quite some time, but
today it finally gave way and the toilet fell through. Now we have no toilet and no
shower because we can't get to the shower without the floor. Also, the washing
machine broke so we can't wash our clothes.

So I called Wyatt and he's coming to get me, I'm just gonna stay with him for a
while, because our house is evidently too ghetto to function.

It's come to my attention that I might just hate everyone.Category: Fuck
Friday, 5 July 2013
07:57:21 PM (GMT)
I am so fucking done with everyone right now.

My family especially, but everyone.

Are there no cool, good, safe people left?

I want to die just because this world is fucking stupid and everyone is either an
asshole, an idiot, or both.

Is this normal, or...?Category: Life
Friday, 5 July 2013
01:28:00 AM (GMT)
Is it normal to constantly be in this much emotional pain? I am so done with my dad. I'm done being yelled at for every stupid fucking thing. And why is the only person that I'm truly attracted to taken, and far away? I just... Well I know where a gun is but
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Aaaand I'm depressed again becauseCategory: Life
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
11:23:22 PM (GMT)
I some how acquired a boyfriend without meaning to 

And I think I'm asexual 

And why aren't there any guys who can just cuddle 

Why does it always have to be kissing and sex and everything 

I'm hurt over things that are my own fault

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