Drum on every available surface.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Play with the Light switches as if their were a thunderstorm.
Tap your feet on the floor Rapidly!
Listen to Barney CD's Backwards.
See if you can change the channels really fast!!
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person".
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check
comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine
you pay!" then leave.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property.
Ask 800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Set alarms for random times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
Leave someones printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I
messed it up", and repeat.
Drive half a block.
Name your dog "Dog".
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name,
and demand that people pronounce each A.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be
saying more any moment.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Every time a salesman calls you say in a very WIERD vioce, "I um, uh, no understand English."
Give everyone getting on the elevator name tags and wear yours upsidedown
Walk on an elvevator with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Tell someone you're going to call them and it's very important and they can't miss the call. Then continously call
pretending to be telemarketers. When they ask why you didn't call, say you forgot.
Tell your roomate that your a vegetarian, and then leave beef jerky wrappers all over your room and insist that you did
not do it.
When in a store rip one then loudly say, "Boy them tacos be catchin' up to me now!!!" and pick up a can of beans in the
Get a carton of milk then put a brick in it. Put it on the road and hide behind a bush and watch.
Push all the buttons in the elevator and dance to the elevator music.
Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Adjust the tint on your TV so all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Ask people what gender they are.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk