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33 M United States of America
speaks English
Last login: 13 November 2013
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Member since: 12 November 2013
Stand at the top of a tall structure and make sure that there is
something relatively soft such as grass, or a sleeping fat person,
below. You should preferably be on the edge of some kind of overhang,
such as a bridge.
Next, tie cheese wire around your neck, tight enough that it won't
slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember,
you don't want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody
wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.
Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the
structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack.
Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If
you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but
sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are glued solidly
to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from
calling for help if you change your mind (you fucking pussy).
Now jump off the structure. It'll only hurt for a second, when the
cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The
overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against
the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body
You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of
your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has
the excellent effect of causing whoever finds your body to think that
you have pulled your head off.
Guaranteed to break the ice at parties!

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