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Funny Carols from: Have a Nice Life, Version 1

Agony the Snowman 
To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman" 

Agony the snowman
Was a glum and miserable soul
With square rimmed glasses and an Emo pose
And two knives that he had stole-n
Agony the snowman is a fairytale they say
He was made of snow but the children know
That he came to life one day
There must have been some magic in those emo-specs they found
For when they placed them on his face he began to cut his wrists
O, Agony the snowman
Was alive as he could be
But the children say he wouldn?t laugh or play
And he seemed quite unhappy
Look at Agony go
Slicing his wrists of snow
Passion the Dirty Love Rat 
To the tune of "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" 

Passion the dirty love-rat
Had a very filthy mind
And if you ever saw him
You would have to run and hide
All of the other entities
Shake their heads and slap his face
They never let poor Passion
Join in any drinking games

Then one drunken New Years Eve
Passion had to play
With tequila and lots of gin,
Soon everyone loved Passion

Then all were drunk off their arses
And they shouted out with glee
Passion the dirty love-rat
You'll be my baby's daddyyyyyyy~!

It?s the Most Emo-est Time of the Year 
To the tune of "It?s the Most Wonderful Time of The Year" 

It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the emo kids sighing
and razor blade buying
and loads of OD's
It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be souls for the taking
And nooses a-hanging
And jumping of apartment rooftops
They'll be deep arm cuts bleeding
And Asprin taking
And many a cap getting popped

It's the most wonderful time of the year
What with much overdosing
and emo-kids cutting
Those life-hating queers~
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most morbidest time
It's the most job-filled time
Of the yeeeeeear~!

Up on the Rooftop 
To the tune of "Up on the Housetop" 

Up on the rooftop
Death and Ti, 
Then comes good old Agony. 
Down thru' the chimney
With very sharp toys
Gathering the souls of emo-boys, 
Ho, ho, ho! 
Who wouldn't go! 
Ho, ho, ho! 
Who wouldn't go! 
Cutting their wrists up
Cut, cut, cut
Back up the chimney
With souls and stuff

I saw Virtue Kissing Santa Claus 
To the tune of "I Saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" 

Death Saw Virtue kissing Santa Claus, 
underneath the mistletoe last night! 
He didn't see Death creep, 
down stairs to have a peek! 
He thought he was away for 
some late night Christmas jobs. 

Life saw Virtue tickle Santa Claus, 
underneath his beard so snowy white! 
Oh, what a laugh it would have been, 
If his brother had walked in, 
And saw Virtue kissing Santa Claus last night! 

Ti saw Virtue kissing Santa Claus, 
underneath the mistletoe last night! 
He must have noticed her, 
But he didn?t say a word
He thought that Ti was tucked up
in a coma fast asleep! 

Haga saw Virtue macking Santa Claus, 
underneath the mistletoe night! 
What the others didn?t know, 
Was that Sin was in those clothes
Dressed up as Santa Clause last night!
Link to this page: copy-paste
  Kirti — Page created: 1 August 2008  |  Last modified: 30 October 2008
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‹SqueeneyTodd› says:   28 September 2008   328916  
XD Those are funny.
Kirti says:   28 September 2008   949446  
ever read the comic?
‹♥Kirsche♥› says :   28 September 2008   831517  
those r funny

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