Moshi Moshi!  (hello)

I love to write poetry, but my friends say I need to show it more. 
So here I am, getting some guts, and posting a few poems on here ^ ^
I hope you like them!!!
(and if you don't, please be kind with your critisizm )
here we go:

No Way Back

Sometimes I wish I was far away.
In a place where no one can reach me.
Where silence would be all I heard.
Darkness all I’d see.

But I seem to be trapped here.
In this world full of noises,
And bright, bright colors.
This place of so many choices.

I try to claw my way out.
Ripping and tearing my way free.
But alas, nothing appears from my hard work.
Escape is impossible; I’m trapped in this storming sea.

If only I was strong enough.
If only I could do it right.
Make my way out of this hell hole.
I can’t though, for I have tried.

Maybe if you hadn’t left me I could’ve made it.
You would’ve helped me through, so I wasn’t alone.
You were strong; you kept the monsters away from me.
But not all monsters can be beat, I should’ve known.

One day the monsters took you, you failed to win.
And I haven’t seen you since.
Now I’ve got no one, I have to fend for myself in this chaotic place.
It’s so very hard here, so thick, so dense.

So here I am, huddled inside myself.
Any way to shield myself from the things around me.
Those loud people and their harsh words.
Where is the way out of this killing spree?

And the thing is I don’t know.
You told me where to go when I was lost.
I’ll be trapped here forever, in this horrible reality.
I’m filled with so much exhaust…

Maybe it’s time I give up…
I can’t reach peace without you…
The place where I can be me, alone and free…
You took my soothing world with you when you died.
Now there’s nowhere to hide…

Because I’m not strong enough, not strong enough, 
Not strong enough, not strong…enough...not...strong
Enough…not……………….
Not good enough.
I can’t make it.
Lost forever.
Forever.
Without…
You.

You took my world with you.
Now there’s no way back.




My Sweet Friend

My sweet friend
I know how you abide
But you keep on going 
And push it all aside 
Your invisible tears 
They land on my palm
Eyes reserved
Tranquil and calm
I wish I could abet
To be there  for you 
But the words won’t come
My sad rescue
You say you are unsightly
Nothing to desire
But my dear
You must be a liar
If only you’d stand tall
You would see 
To all the beautiful things
You are the key
With heart so kind
Filled with love
You are an angel
Sent from above
You are lovely
In your own right
Even a blind man
Can see that sight
I’ve heard saddness in your laugh
So many a time
Cries in your voice
A sorrowful line
Maybe if you read this
Your worth you will obtain
One small link
Off your heavy chain
I believe in a time
When you will  gain your wings
Finally able 
To be happy and free
So my gracious
Amiable friend 
Love yourself 
and your heart will mend
Live
Love
Survive.



Love me, please

Love me.
Please—
Please—
Don’t leave me here alone.
My soul can’t—
Can’t—
Take it.
I’m not meant to be here.
Not in this place.
Of—
horror—
and fear—
Im meant for the light.
The light—
And the sun.
Take me out of the cold—
And rain.
Hold me in your arms—

Again.


Cut: 


Blood--
Dripping down my arm.
So warm.
Yet so cold…
I bet you’ve never felt this before.
I bet you’ve never even wanted to.
But I have.
And I love it.
Oh, do I love it.

Cut

The color so deep, so dark
So pretty--
Against my pail skin.
Like tatoos that hurt.
But relieve.
They take away the pain.
Freeze the frantic beetings of my heart
For a little while.
Releif.
I love it.
Oh, do I love it.

Cut

Never will I stop--
Never will I be able to
An adiction takes hold.
And I love it.
Oh, do I love it
Cut
Cut
Cut
Never will I stop
Never will I be able to.
I need this release
This joy
This beauty..
I need it.
I need it.
Never will I stop.
Oh, do I love it.

Cut.

 



My Lady Moon

I see the snow outside
So white, so pure
Falling before me
It reminds me of her
Her echoing laugh
Shining hair
Luminous eyes
Skin so fair
The goddess of the moon
Spinning around my world
Color of the winter
My cold heart swirls
She lights up the sky 
And gives me my dreams
The feeling of her presence
Bathes me it seems
I remember her fingers
So very pale
I trembled in her wake 
So very frail
I loved her being
Spirit and heart
But in the day
We’d be split apart
Until night returned
And danced her along
Soaring so high
She sang her song
A voice like bells 
Twinkling in my ears
Keeping me safe
Chasing away fears 
She was cold like ice
But her eyes were sun
Humor lit in them 
Like a loved one
Her hair flashed silver
Like comets to me
Eyes so blue 
The ocean or sea
She is always there in the stars 
Looking down upon me 
Watching my every move
Never to leave
Teasing and taunting she goes on
Driving me crazy, never coming down
But it’s not so bad when I look to her face
And immediately drown…
I love the dark now
For its when she is around 
I know I’m addicted to her self 
To her sound
It has altered my life
Changed who I am
I am who she wants me to be
A creature of the night
One of the damned
I am wrapped in her 
And I will never go 
The night has claimed me
I’ll freeze like snow
I notice nothing 
In her grip 
As I kiss
Her red red lips




Truly... Divine


The first time I saw you smile,
I thought nothing of it, nothing at all. 
The first time I heard your voice, it was like any voice.
Just a noise I could hardly recall.

But now it’s something I can’t forget.
Locked into my mind, caged and trapped.
Why won’t you get out of my head?
Your constant presence I can’t adapt.

I’m so used to being by myself,
Thinking of me and no one else.
Now though, I seem to care about you to…
Always here, your laughter dwells

How did you crawl into my heart?
How did you, just a boy, get through?
I don’t understand. Because I think when you got inside me,
We traded places …and I’m inside you to…

I want out; all these feelings are crowding me.
Wanting to be around you all the time…
Wanting to hold you and kiss you…
It's not me…it’s not…it… can’t be right!

Please, let me go. This loves to strong!
I don’t know what to do; my heart can’t hold it all
I’m afraid that I’ll burst with all these emotions!
…I’m afraid….I’m afraid I’ll fall…

But you keep holding my hand, and I—
I’m not brave enough to take it away.
It’s too warm and feels too safe in yours.
I feel so scared. I’m too young to feel this way.

But that’s not what scares me the most.
For there is a little voice, so small I can’t say,
That I keep hearing. It’s telling me over and over
Like a record that…this love… doesn’t go away.

You look me in the eye. You bring your lips to mine.
I don’t turn, I stay with you. Is being with you easy? Not a bit.
These feelings of turmoil within me are so wild. But maybe…
It’s not so bad… Maybe … just maybe… I can live with it.

Because I’m not so sure I could live without these
Feelings once I’ve had a taste. Though they annoy me,
I want them desperately now. You’ve inhabited me to
Long, you’ve become all I need, and all I see.

I love you, I really do.
I thought I could avoid it, miss it, and ignore it.
But I was wrong. I have to be with you,
There’s no other way. Without you my heart will split.

So fill me up. Take up all the space I had left.
Give me all your love, and I’ll give you all of Mine.
We can hold each other together when all the love threatens to tear us apart.
Because something like this doesn’t come often. Because something
Like this is truly……..
Truly….

Divine.




Konban wa


Konban wa

I say as you leave-
As you leave-
Me.
Why do you go?
What have I done?
What can I do?
I want to scream-
Scream these words-
At you.
But I don’t
I only whisper-
Whisper-

Konban wa

I wish you would turn-
Turn around-
To me
But you never will
For you have said-
You have said-

Konban wa

Will you be back?
Will you hold my hand again?
Will you look me in the eye?
No.
It is over.
I am left-
left alone-
here.
For you have said-
I have said-

Konban wa…
Itsumo.



Where'd the 'I' Go

Occasionally when I look in the mirror
I wonder who is looking back
Is it a girl, or a woman
A lover or a no one
I can’t seem to tell anymore
It’s like my own reflection is evading me
I try to stand perfectly still
But it moves against my will
It won’t listen to me anymore
Only to the voices of the outside world
To the magazines and TV
To the models and stars
Why is it their voices matter to me 
More than my own mind
I don’t get it, I’m losing the ‘I’ I always had
She’s floating away behind 
All the makeup and all the clothes
All the laces and all the bows
She is not the girl I once was, just
A shadow, only a picture blurred
If only I could find myself again
But where to look
I’ve been lost so long
The ‘me’ is missing
The trail is empty
My map’s torn to shreds
And nothing--
Nothing at all--

Is left...




well those are all the ones so far ^ ^ (atleast the ones I had the guts to put up, haha)