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Gokudera  
23 F United States of America
speaks English
Last login: 7 November 2009
 
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Member since: 5 January 2009
 "Juudaime!"
Here are some simple facts about me. My name is Mari. My last name is none of your business. I am taken, if it matters to anyone. I'm not looking for online relationships. Why? Because I've had a couple, And while some of them got pretty serious, they only ended in disaster. So please, don't ask me. Unless it's just friends. I have many nicknames, like; Marmi, Marmalade, MarMar, Marluxia, Gokkun, Xipielle, Epii-chan, and Toast. Don't ask for the context. Many of them are far too old to even remember why the names came into being. I am 16 years old and female, and I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. I like anime and manga, and enjoy video games a lot. I went through an obsession with Kingdom Hearts (all of them), and I still enjoy playing it. I'm currently playing: Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, Rogue Galaxy, Final Fantasy VII, and Final Fantasy Dissidia. I don't only read manga, I read real books. Some of my favorites would be Interview With A Vampire, The Uglies Series, Of Mice And Men, The Harry Potter Series, Cirque Du Freak, and The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I hate Twilight, don't bother asking me. On the subject of music, I listen to almost everything. Almost. Everything except Rap and Country. I dislike those genres very much. There are exceptions though, of course. For example, I listen to METERMAIDS. Because it fills my heart with fanfuckingtastic sunshine. c: Some of the bands or musicians I listen to would be; Mindless Self Indulgence, Paper Route, Phoenix, Trading Yesterday, Cinema Bizarre, Idlewild, 3Oh!3, Yoko Ono, Peaches, CHERRYBLOSSOM, Pendulum, LEAD, DBSK, Friendly Fires, Apoptygma Berzerk, The New Pornographers, Thunderheist, ohGr, Late of the Pier, Passion Pit, God Help The Girl, Generationals, MGMT, Gary Go, Mat Kearney, Children of Bodom, Ministry, Prodigy, Fatboy Slim, Die So Fluid, Postal Service, Deerhunter, Utada Hikaru, Green Day, HelloGoodbye, Fulton Lights, OKgo, Red Jumpsuit, J Minus, Yellowcard, The Killers, Eisley, Stereo Total, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Hoobastank, Foo Fighters, Offspring, Jeffree Star, Michelle Branch, Needtobreathe, The Afters, The Ting Tings, The Illuminoids, Divine, The Supremes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Vitamin String Quartet, Night Facilities, POLYSICS, Moldy Peaches, Natural Calamity, Unicorns, Peach Union, LM.C, Telekinesis, The Antlers, Primitive Radio Gods, Dappled Cities Fly, Bloc Party, Bodies Of Water, Further Seems Forever, Melt-Banana, Tomoko Tane, Landon Pigg, Creed, Brunch, Witches, AFI, Marissa Burns Trey, Savage Garden, Peach Stealing Monkeys, Gay Against You, Josephine Collective, Flobots, Death Cab For Cutie, Phantom Planet, Jack's Mannequin, The Whigs, Aqualung, Swimming With Dolphins, Beirut, Freezepop, Daft Punk, Modest Mouse, Santana, Linkin Park, Metallica, Jane's Addiction, Soundgarden, Sound Temple Pilots, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Von Bondies, The Pretenders, Ozzy Osbourne, Dir En Grey, Aha, Radiohead, The Ramones, The Police, Pat Benetar, Janis Joplin Papa Roach, Nickelback, Led Zepplin, The Goo Goo Dolls Duran Duran, Flyleaf, Safety Suit, Parachute, Iron & Wine, She Wants Revenge, Paramore, Malice Mizer, S.K.I.N., Bad Religion, Yoko Kanno, Danzig, Soundsystem, Sublime, Sugarcult, Switchfoot, The Gorillaz, Garbage, t.a.t.U., Fall Out Boy, Rooney, Drowning Pool, All That Remains, Theatres Des Vampires, Pants Yell!, Matt & Kim, Eagles of Death Metal, Ayria, Lifehouse... Ect. Yeah. I like A LOT of music. Okay, now then. Time for a more detailed description. Again, I am currently taken, since it matters to my online predators/stalkers. Not looking for online relationships. They only end in disaster. So please, don't ask me. I have many wives, some of which are male. n wn I love everyone around me dearly. For me, friendship comes before relationships. Always. And it is for the simple matter of, when it comes down to it, if you put relationships before friends, you can lose your friends. And if you don't have a lover, what do you have? Close to nothing. I care too deeply for too many people to do that. There are very few whom I dislike, and they usually have had to do something awful to gain my distrust. I do not believe in God, but I believe there is possibly a God. But when it all comes down to the facts, I believe that a Godly presence is sort of illogical. Science has answers for nearly everything, no matter how many years it takes to prove it. I have my own beliefs, and I do not force them onto other people. And I dislike people who do. What I believe is what I believe, and it is only my right to have something to project my hope and pride in. I will not question other people's beliefs unless I am being asked for my opinion on the matter. I think of myself as selfish, though I've heard many people disagree. But I don't really listen to them. My self esteem is too low. At one time, I was a cutter. It started in fifth grade, after I lost someone close to me. It was on and off sometimes, but continued throughout middle school until I was fifteen. After being held back in eighth grade for a year, I went to Explore Knowledge Academy, a charter school that my friend encouraged me to register for. While the curriculum was hard for me to keep up with, the school itself was amazing. I didn't have 6 periods for classes, I had advisory plus two blocks, and PE once every week, and we didn't have school on Mondays. The teachers were not too strict, and you could go into other classrooms during advisory and sit with friends, as long as you were doing work. It was in a business building, so it was a very interesting layout for a school. Anyway. That year, I met some of the most wonderful people I had ever come to be friends with in my life. I was still cutting when I entered Explore Knowledge, but by the time the school year was over, I was a completely different person. I had stopped inflicting damage unto myself, and I tried to concentrate more on others than myself. Some of the reason for the past year that I had cut was because of a certain boy I met, whom I once considered my second, but most powerful love. I used to cry about him (and the situation I was in with him) constantly. Since he was long distance, he barely knew how much I did cry. But sometimes I would crawl under a desk and weep about him, using scissors to watch myself bleed and covering my wounds with armwarmers and sleeves. By the end of the year, my cuts had healed and left only scars and memories. I walked out of EK with my head slightly higher. I am proud of what I accomplished mentally at that school. And I want, more than anything, to keep moving forward, and not revert back to my old ways. I now go to public school again, with the people I went to middle school with. I will admit that I am scared of going back, but if I keep trying, I know I'll be alright.


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