591 i will not tell Dumbledore that his appearance is "feeding stereotypes"
592 i will not tell mr.weasly that muggles aren't worth his valuable time.
593 i will not enchant pink girly stuffed animals to go around hugging students i dont like in front of large crowds of
people.
594  i will not tell Luna Lovegood that they are Bang Ended Scoots, and that the ministry has been breeding them to
fight all who oppose them
595 i will not create a Trouble makers Hall Of Fame. As such it will not be next to the portable swamp fred and george
set up, and won't have pictures of harry's dad and sirius. i will also not have people vote for best trouble maker of
the year.
596: i will not sing songs that say draco is a dork
597: -same goes for the rest of the students at hogwarts
598: while at this school i will behave myself as if i were a muggle
599: i am not to go in muggle territory
600: i will not make anyone nose bleed with the charm "Nose Zap"
601: i will not try to make a cross breed between Hippogriffs and Gryphons
602: transfiguration is not for making super-ultra-hybrid betwen beavers and platapus's, beavepus's and otter,
beavterpus's with normal beaver, extra beavery beavterpus's with normal  platapus's, extra beaverpusy beavterpus with
regular otters just to create the ultimate aquatic mammal.
603: just becuase moody can through wood doesnt mean i should ask him what boggartslook like
604:I am sure the mer-people have their hands full with the giant squid, so jumping
into the lake and shouting "accio champ!" would be mean
605:-likewise to "accio lock ness monster!"
606: i will not point out to harry while he struggles to figure out what the mirror of erised does to tell dumbledore,
that Erised is "disire" spelled backwards 
 607: I will not tell Rufus Scrimingour that gnomes are not "funny little chaps" at all.
608: to prove the point above i will not tell a crowd of gnomes that they will never be de-gnomed again if they sneak
into Rufus Scrimingour's clothes and bite as hard as they can 
609 i will not try to lure the basilisk into aragogs web to see what creature would make it out alive.
610: i will not sell tickets to WATCH a basilisk and a giant spider kill each other.
611 i will not find people with muggle parents who like wresteling and point out how violent and stupid it is.
612 i will not tell dumbledore that the wrestling fan attacked me first, and that i had every right to hex him.
613 i will not refer to wresting as "muggle dueling with a ref" in front of the previously mentioned fan, no matter how
much i feel i need to practice the leg locker curse.
614: i will not sing the "harry potter puppet pals"
615:   if i am to mess up any of these rules i will have to clean the girl and boys restroom fo 3 months while i sing
twinkle twinkle little star
616:i will not find 1st years on the hogwarts express and say "good luck to you! i hear this year they've got a troll
to fight to decide your house. man, in my year  we just had to fight fire crabs!"
617:i will not tell colin creevy to use brain.
618:i will not tell denis creevy to use his brain.
619:i will not tell denis creevy to use colin's brain.
620:i will not tell myself that i should stop saying "i will not tell"
621:I will not start to sing "From The Wall" in the middle of class and stand on the tables.
622:I will not become a rat animagus and re-name myself Yuki.
623:I will not become a cat animagus and re-name myself Kyo.
624:I will not become a dog animagus and re-name myself Shigure.
625:i will not shout the secret about Akito(found in volume 17) in the great hall, hoping to ruin it to those still
reading. 
626:I will not say that Peter Pettigrew is Yuki in disguise.
627:i will not ask Professor Mcgonagle "Kyo, why do you look like a woman?"
628:i will not ask sirius how his love novels are going. 
629:I will not ask Olivander how many dragons had to die befor they figured out heart strings were the things with
magical properties.
630:I will not write out Harry Potter series quizes for first years and say the have to leave if they don't get 100%.
631:no questions on said quiz will ask about the scar over dumbledors left knee that is a perfect map of the London
Under Ground.
632:I will not explain how i remebered that.
633:I will not kill anyone in Hogwarts and blame Voldemort for the crime
634:i will not let emu's run rampid across the great hall
635:i will not commite suicide.
636:i will not let anyone else commite suicide.
637:I will not sing ' were off to see the wizard' while being sent to the headmaster's office
638: I will not sing "do you believe in magic" while walking to muggle studies
639:I will not switch my cauldron with hermione's when she's not looking.
640:I will not eat a 'nosebleed' treat to get outta class.
641:I will not use the room of requirment to see the inside of a volcanoe.
642: I will ask the director of the Harry Potter movies how he knew to make the Sorting Hat a boy, as I'm not sure I
even want to find out.
643:I will stop insisting Nevilles in love with the new mandrakes.
644:Mr.Filch and Mrs.Norris DO NOT make a perfect couple.
645:I will stop looking through old Prophets to see if Snapes related to Madam Pince or Filch
646:I will not ask Proffesor Snape if he still has his gray underpants.
647:I will not teach Mr.Weasley to use a computer and have him e-mail pictures of Britney Spears to Snape saying that
it's the actor who plays him in the movie.
648:and when Proffesor Snape confronts me(again)I will not yell "HEY!SEVVY HAS A
GIRLFRIEND!"for anyone in the corridor to hear(again)
649:I will not send Dobby to Proffesor Snapes room with shampoo and conditioner.
650: especially not American Girl
651:I will not charm the great hall to play slayer when draco comes in
652:nor when snape comes in.
653:I will not use the room of requirment to host a 'snape needs some sugar' party
654:I will not try the Super Sensory charm to listen to what the other gender really talks about.
656:I will not change my appearance by magic, run in to the corridor near Snape's dungeon, and sing Scream-o songs at
the top of my lungs, wait until he sees, then run.
657:When I hear Harry shouting (again) in the fifth book, I will not stick my head in and say  "bad things happen to
good people." 
658:I will not yell VOLDY IS MY MENTOR anywhere in hogwarts. 
659:I will not use the room of requirment to have the backstreetboys play in hogwarts. 
660:Luna lovegood is not on drugs
661:nor will i give her some 
662:I will not blast people with balls of magic.
663:Or with any other substance.
664:And I will not sing "It's a kind of magic" while blasting people. 
665:I will not sell any of these  things i'm not supposed to do to first years retitaling it"Things I'm allowed to do
at hogwarts"
666:no matter which teacher I intend to share my fortune with.
667:I will not tell Harry the veil at the department of mysteries is actually a magical tranasporter that took Sirius
to the Bahamas
668:The next time I see Professors Dumbledore and Snape talking,I will not shout"Man,I knew Dumbledore was gay,but he's
losing his taste"
669: even if i run very fast
670:i will only use this list for  things i'm not allowed to do,not to comment that I can avoid Proffesor Snape.
671:i will not ask Sirius if his middle name is Lee
672:i will not ask Hagrid how he was created,because frankly I do not want to know
673:i will not put dead spiders in Georges ear hole.
674:-or anything else for that matter
675:i will not X ray Madam Maxime and compare her bones to a dinosaurs
676:i will not  put my findings on the notice board
677:i will not play "Crank that,Soulja Boy" during potions class and ask Proffesor Snape to join in the dancing.
678: even if he does know the moves
679:Voldemort is not Hilary Clinton in disguise
680: I will not write on the front of my black notebook 'Death Note'
681: - nor will I enchant said 'Death Note'  to have anyone who touches it sees a flying monster
682:I will not throw frogspawn at Nevil.
683:-nor will I throw it at anyone else.
684:I will not create the magical equavilant of a Nuclear explosion. It's just dumb.
685:I will not conjure up lemons and say "Life hath given thou LEMONS!!"
686:I will not turn anyones robes into a turtle.
687:-It being a rare breed of Painted TUrtles that could be used for breeding makes no difference.
688:I am never to introduce myself as "Talia, the Queens Own" or ask where my Companion Rolan has gone
689:- likewise refering to myself as Herald-Mage Vanyel is wrong. 
690:-I will not ask Draco Malfoy if Snape is good in bed.
691:-I will also not ask about Harry Potter
692:-I will also not ask Harry Potter if Snape is good in bed.
693:-I will also not ask Snape if Lucius Malfoy is good in bed.
694:-I will not refer to Professor Snape as "Sevvykins".
695:-Or "Snivellus". 
696:- I will not stand on the Desk in potions class and sing "From The Wall"
697:- While doing so I may not point to Snape at "No Dark sarcasm in the class room"
698:- I may not pay Hagrid, Peeves, or any other non-teacher to burst in and say "Hey! You, Teacher! Leave those kids
alone!"
699:- I will not Imply that Professor Snape is Ozzy Ozbourne.
700:- I will not ask Professor Snape how "Ozzy is"
701:- Professor Snape is in no way related to Ozzy Ozbourne.
702:- Draco Malfoy is not Billy Idol.
703:- Nor is he an Albino.
704:- Nor will I tell the first years this.
705:- I am not to tell First years that Dumbledore is Santa's brother.
706:I am not to imply that if Hogwarts had a special needs group then Dumbledors sister could have gotten help.
707:I am not to ask the house elves if the Griffindors could have Cheetos and Doritos with dinner.
708:I cannot ask the house elves to carve the ham into a human head and serve it to Slytherin.
709:Nor any other body part.
710:I will not spread the rumor that Umbridge was muggle born.
711:I won't put new born babies under the sorting hat just to confuse it.
712:I will not put owls under the sorting hat just to confuse it.
713:I will not ask which house Dumbldor was in.
714: nor will I suggest that he was in the wrong one, for we all know he is incredibly brave and extremly clever.
715:I will not ask Mrs. Pince to find me the manga section.
716:I will not bet on how many paper planes stick in professer snapes hair.
717:I did not see Pansy in the Slytherin common room singing 'I Kissed A Girl' and I should stop telling people that I
did.
718:-I also did not see her singing 'Pansylicious'.
719:-The same goes for Hermoine
720:- I will not stand in the middle of the great hall and sing, "I may be a tiny chimney sweep but I have an
enormous...broom"
721:- Nor anywhere else for that matter.
722:- I am not aloud to sing the aforementioned song at all.
723-I will not go down to the kitchens, get a bowl of grapes, and then make them peel them for me.
724-No aligators. No exceptions.
725-I will not challenge Aragog and his mate to a "14 legged race" no matter how fun the out come would be.
726-Demanding to the Minister why wizards weren't out magicly helping the Giant Panda populations is highly frowned
upon.
728-writing a buisness letter about it doesn't stop it from being rude.
729-Writing TWO buisness letter likewise changes nothing.
730-even if I did say "Dear" at the begining.
thank you people who added to this
the spot where this started: 586 Things I'm Not Allowed to do at
Hogwarts
now im going for 1,000. do you think everyone who adds to this and i can make it?