591 i will not tell Dumbledore that his appearance is "feeding stereotypes"
592 i will not tell mr.weasly that muggles aren't worth his valuable time.
593 i will not enchant pink girly stuffed animals to go around hugging students i dont like in front of large crowds of
people.
594 i will not tell Luna Lovegood that they are Bang Ended Scoots, and that the ministry has been breeding them to
fight all who oppose them
595 i will not create a Trouble makers Hall Of Fame. As such it will not be next to the portable swamp fred and george
set up, and won't have pictures of harry's dad and sirius. i will also not have people vote for best trouble maker of
the year.
596: i will not sing songs that say draco is a dork
597: -same goes for the rest of the students at hogwarts
598: while at this school i will behave myself as if i were a muggle
599: i am not to go in muggle territory
600: i will not make anyone nose bleed with the charm "Nose Zap"
601: i will not try to make a cross breed between Hippogriffs and Gryphons
602: transfiguration is not for making super-ultra-hybrid betwen beavers and platapus's, beavepus's and otter,
beavterpus's with normal beaver, extra beavery beavterpus's with normal platapus's, extra beaverpusy beavterpus with
regular otters just to create the ultimate aquatic mammal.
603: just becuase moody can through wood doesnt mean i should ask him what boggartslook like
604:I am sure the mer-people have their hands full with the giant squid, so jumping
into the lake and shouting "accio champ!" would be mean
605:-likewise to "accio lock ness monster!"
606: i will not point out to harry while he struggles to figure out what the mirror of erised does to tell dumbledore,
that Erised is "disire" spelled backwards
607: I will not tell Rufus Scrimingour that gnomes are not "funny little chaps" at all.
608: to prove the point above i will not tell a crowd of gnomes that they will never be de-gnomed again if they sneak
into Rufus Scrimingour's clothes and bite as hard as they can
609 i will not try to lure the basilisk into aragogs web to see what creature would make it out alive.
610: i will not sell tickets to WATCH a basilisk and a giant spider kill each other.
611 i will not find people with muggle parents who like wresteling and point out how violent and stupid it is.
612 i will not tell dumbledore that the wrestling fan attacked me first, and that i had every right to hex him.
613 i will not refer to wresting as "muggle dueling with a ref" in front of the previously mentioned fan, no matter how
much i feel i need to practice the leg locker curse.
614: i will not sing the "harry potter puppet pals"
615: if i am to mess up any of these rules i will have to clean the girl and boys restroom fo 3 months while i sing
twinkle twinkle little star
616:i will not find 1st years on the hogwarts express and say "good luck to you! i hear this year they've got a troll
to fight to decide your house. man, in my year we just had to fight fire crabs!"
617:i will not tell colin creevy to use brain.
618:i will not tell denis creevy to use his brain.
619:i will not tell denis creevy to use colin's brain.
620:i will not tell myself that i should stop saying "i will not tell"
621:I will not start to sing "From The Wall" in the middle of class and stand on the tables.
622:I will not become a rat animagus and re-name myself Yuki.
623:I will not become a cat animagus and re-name myself Kyo.
624:I will not become a dog animagus and re-name myself Shigure.
625:i will not shout the secret about Akito(found in volume 17) in the great hall, hoping to ruin it to those still
reading.
626:I will not say that Peter Pettigrew is Yuki in disguise.
627:i will not ask Professor Mcgonagle "Kyo, why do you look like a woman?"
628:i will not ask sirius how his love novels are going.
629:I will not ask Olivander how many dragons had to die befor they figured out heart strings were the things with
magical properties.
630:I will not write out Harry Potter series quizes for first years and say the have to leave if they don't get 100%.
631:no questions on said quiz will ask about the scar over dumbledors left knee that is a perfect map of the London
Under Ground.
632:I will not explain how i remebered that.
633:I will not kill anyone in Hogwarts and blame Voldemort for the crime
634:i will not let emu's run rampid across the great hall
635:i will not commite suicide.
636:i will not let anyone else commite suicide.
637:I will not sing ' were off to see the wizard' while being sent to the headmaster's office
638: I will not sing "do you believe in magic" while walking to muggle studies
639:I will not switch my cauldron with hermione's when she's not looking.
640:I will not eat a 'nosebleed' treat to get outta class.
641:I will not use the room of requirment to see the inside of a volcanoe.
642: I will ask the director of the Harry Potter movies how he knew to make the Sorting Hat a boy, as I'm not sure I
even want to find out.
643:I will stop insisting Nevilles in love with the new mandrakes.
644:Mr.Filch and Mrs.Norris DO NOT make a perfect couple.
645:I will stop looking through old Prophets to see if Snapes related to Madam Pince or Filch
646:I will not ask Proffesor Snape if he still has his gray underpants.
647:I will not teach Mr.Weasley to use a computer and have him e-mail pictures of Britney Spears to Snape saying that
it's the actor who plays him in the movie.
648:and when Proffesor Snape confronts me(again)I will not yell "HEY!SEVVY HAS A
GIRLFRIEND!"for anyone in the corridor to hear(again)
649:I will not send Dobby to Proffesor Snapes room with shampoo and conditioner.
650: especially not American Girl
651:I will not charm the great hall to play slayer when draco comes in
652:nor when snape comes in.
653:I will not use the room of requirment to host a 'snape needs some sugar' party
654:I will not try the Super Sensory charm to listen to what the other gender really talks about.
656:I will not change my appearance by magic, run in to the corridor near Snape's dungeon, and sing Scream-o songs at
the top of my lungs, wait until he sees, then run.
657:When I hear Harry shouting (again) in the fifth book, I will not stick my head in and say "bad things happen to
good people."
658:I will not yell VOLDY IS MY MENTOR anywhere in hogwarts.
659:I will not use the room of requirment to have the backstreetboys play in hogwarts.
660:Luna lovegood is not on drugs
661:nor will i give her some
662:I will not blast people with balls of magic.
663:Or with any other substance.
664:And I will not sing "It's a kind of magic" while blasting people.
665:I will not sell any of these things i'm not supposed to do to first years retitaling it"Things I'm allowed to do
at hogwarts"
666:no matter which teacher I intend to share my fortune with.
667:I will not tell Harry the veil at the department of mysteries is actually a magical tranasporter that took Sirius
to the Bahamas
668:The next time I see Professors Dumbledore and Snape talking,I will not shout"Man,I knew Dumbledore was gay,but he's
losing his taste"
669: even if i run very fast
670:i will only use this list for things i'm not allowed to do,not to comment that I can avoid Proffesor Snape.
671:i will not ask Sirius if his middle name is Lee
672:i will not ask Hagrid how he was created,because frankly I do not want to know
673:i will not put dead spiders in Georges ear hole.
674:-or anything else for that matter
675:i will not X ray Madam Maxime and compare her bones to a dinosaurs
676:i will not put my findings on the notice board
677:i will not play "Crank that,Soulja Boy" during potions class and ask Proffesor Snape to join in the dancing.
678: even if he does know the moves
679:Voldemort is not Hilary Clinton in disguise
680: I will not write on the front of my black notebook 'Death Note'
681: - nor will I enchant said 'Death Note' to have anyone who touches it sees a flying monster
682:I will not throw frogspawn at Nevil.
683:-nor will I throw it at anyone else.
684:I will not create the magical equavilant of a Nuclear explosion. It's just dumb.
685:I will not conjure up lemons and say "Life hath given thou LEMONS!!"
686:I will not turn anyones robes into a turtle.
687:-It being a rare breed of Painted TUrtles that could be used for breeding makes no difference.
688:I am never to introduce myself as "Talia, the Queens Own" or ask where my Companion Rolan has gone
689:- likewise refering to myself as Herald-Mage Vanyel is wrong.
690:-I will not ask Draco Malfoy if Snape is good in bed.
691:-I will also not ask about Harry Potter
692:-I will also not ask Harry Potter if Snape is good in bed.
693:-I will also not ask Snape if Lucius Malfoy is good in bed.
694:-I will not refer to Professor Snape as "Sevvykins".
695:-Or "Snivellus".
696:- I will not stand on the Desk in potions class and sing "From The Wall"
697:- While doing so I may not point to Snape at "No Dark sarcasm in the class room"
698:- I may not pay Hagrid, Peeves, or any other non-teacher to burst in and say "Hey! You, Teacher! Leave those kids
alone!"
699:- I will not Imply that Professor Snape is Ozzy Ozbourne.
700:- I will not ask Professor Snape how "Ozzy is"
701:- Professor Snape is in no way related to Ozzy Ozbourne.
702:- Draco Malfoy is not Billy Idol.
703:- Nor is he an Albino.
704:- Nor will I tell the first years this.
705:- I am not to tell First years that Dumbledore is Santa's brother.
706:I am not to imply that if Hogwarts had a special needs group then Dumbledors sister could have gotten help.
707:I am not to ask the house elves if the Griffindors could have Cheetos and Doritos with dinner.
708:I cannot ask the house elves to carve the ham into a human head and serve it to Slytherin.
709:Nor any other body part.
710:I will not spread the rumor that Umbridge was muggle born.
711:I won't put new born babies under the sorting hat just to confuse it.
712:I will not put owls under the sorting hat just to confuse it.
713:I will not ask which house Dumbldor was in.
714: nor will I suggest that he was in the wrong one, for we all know he is incredibly brave and extremly clever.
715:I will not ask Mrs. Pince to find me the manga section.
716:I will not bet on how many paper planes stick in professer snapes hair.
717:I did not see Pansy in the Slytherin common room singing 'I Kissed A Girl' and I should stop telling people that I
did.
718:-I also did not see her singing 'Pansylicious'.
719:-The same goes for Hermoine
720:- I will not stand in the middle of the great hall and sing, "I may be a tiny chimney sweep but I have an
enormous...broom"
721:- Nor anywhere else for that matter.
722:- I am not aloud to sing the aforementioned song at all.
723-I will not go down to the kitchens, get a bowl of grapes, and then make them peel them for me.
724-No aligators. No exceptions.
725-I will not challenge Aragog and his mate to a "14 legged race" no matter how fun the out come would be.
726-Demanding to the Minister why wizards weren't out magicly helping the Giant Panda populations is highly frowned
upon.
728-writing a buisness letter about it doesn't stop it from being rude.
729-Writing TWO buisness letter likewise changes nothing.
730-even if I did say "Dear" at the begining.
731-There has never been and there isn't now a great lord Waldemart and you are discouraged from voicing that idea in
front of Voldemort
732-You are also greatly discouraged from saying that he is the greatest wizard in the world because Voldemort might
not respond do that too kindly.
733-Screaming out "I saw Harry and Draco down in the dungeons snogging each other" in the middle of the great hall is
not appropriate.
734-Nor in any other place
735-Even if everyone finds it amusing
736-Using wizard swears inside the walls of hogwarts is also forbidden even if Dumbledore has forgotten he set this
rule.
737-Selling photoshoped pictures of Harry and Voldemort making out is not a way to earn money.
738-Even every student buys them and sticks them up on their walls.
739-Turning Draco Malfoy into a ferret is not funny anymore.
740-Casting the Imperius curse to make him transfigure himself into a ferret is even less appropriate.
741-Enchanting mistletoe to take up the properties of devil snare is not funny.
742-Enchanting the armour around Hogwarts to barge into Slytherin Common Room and start singing "Ding dong, the heir of
Slytherin is dead" or "Ding, dong, Voldemort is dead" the night Voldemort is defeated is not allowed.
743-Nor is enchanting them to go to Gryffindor Common Room and sing "Ding, Dong, James and Lily Potter are dead"
744-Telling first years that at the end of the year they have to do an exam involving
a three-headed dog, devil snare, an oversized chess board, flying keys, and a table
of potions, one which will kill you, and then in the end battling the DADA professor,
who has he-who-must-not-be-named bluging out on the back of his head is not funny, or
allowed.
745-Enchanting a bludger to hit Crabbe or Goyle on the back of the head to see if
they have any brain cells to loose is not considered an appropriate Charms homework
experiment .
746-Even if the it proves that they don't.
747-I will not cast the imperius curse on Snape and make him sing 'I'm to sexy' and
strip of his shirt no matter how amusing the idea is.
748-Nor will i charm him to sing 'I feel pretty' and dance around with the moves from
Bet On It no matter what youtube video i got the idea from.
749-I will never destroy anything with my magic until after class.
750-I will never use Harry Potter's husk as a doll to fool the Hogwart's members with.
751-I will never bring a computer to Hogwarts
752-I will never use PowerPoint to try to explain the plot of the 7th book
753-I will never $pE@k fr|n lNgu@g3
754-I will never call Severus Snape, or Voldemort, n00bs
755. Victor Krum is in no way like jack sparrow.
756. I should not ask to see his kracken.
757. Voldemort is not davy jones.
758. I am not allowed to ask to see his kracken either.
759. Snape has no interest in going down 'to the paradise city, where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty' and i should stop sending invitations to aforemention place
760. I will not run up to faculty and slap them with fish, no matter how humorous the
results.
761. Under no circumstances am I allowed to sing the entire soundtrack of ANY Rogers and
Hammerstein musical in public
762. -And if I do, broadcasting it over the entire school results in extra consequences.
763. Despite how interested I am in Werewolves I am not allowed to replace Professor
Lupin's Wolfsbane with water in order to track his transformation.
764. - Nor am I allowed to remove it for the purpose of becoming a Werewolf as well.
765. Despite how much I like dogs, putting a leash on Professor Lupin us inappropriate.
766. I will not call proffesor trelawney "phsycadelic" or "tubular"
767. -or snape SO pissed!
768. I am not to insist that 'Sweeney Todd' has set up shop in the owlery and that Dobby is moonlighting as 'Mrs.
Lovett'.
769. Dobby is also not looking for 'his precious'
770. After an arguement with Harry I am not allowed to comeback with "Go cry to your Mama "
771. Hogwarts is not holding auditions for America's next top model and I should stop telling the first years
otherwise.
772. Hermione doesn't find it amusing to have her notebooks charmed to chorus 'Hermione Weasely'
773. -Or 'Hermione Malfoy'
774. Dressing up as the muggle George Washington and attempting to chop down the Whomping Willow is not advised.
775. Claiming the voices inside my head made me do something is not an adequete(sp?) excuse for anything.
776. Nor is claiming my evil twin Larry did it.
777. Dumbledore does not wish to participate in my amateur porno and I should stop asking.
778- I am ABSOLUTELY not allowed to enchant Umbridges shoes to make them clop like hoofs when she walks, no matter how
much Fred would have loved it.
779- I am not allowed to send an owl to Mrs. Wesley and ask where Fred's hand on her clock is pointing....thats just
mean.
780- I am not allowed to buy Voldemort a poodle and paint it's fur pink.
781- I am not allowed to kill said poodle in his sleep and hang its bloody carcass from the ceiling of Voldemort's
bedroom.
782- I will not use Veritaserum on Snape to confirm our suspicions that he is, indeed, a virgin.
783- Conversely, I will not use the above-named potion to find out just how many
times he's pleasured himself while using Legilimens on Harry and watching him see
Lily in the mirror of Erised.
784- I will never, ever, EVER serenade Draco Malfoy with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic."
785- I will tell Luna Lovegood that if and only if she consumes poison mead, she will
be able to see Nagrles, Wrackspurts and other such creatures with the naked eye.
786- I will not steal Luna Lovegood's bottlecork charm.
787- I will not ask Dean Thomas is 'Jesus was a brotha.'
788- I will not ask Professor Telawney if she supports the legalization of marijuana.
789- Or if she is a vegetarian.
790- Or if she can see auras.
791- I am never to break Mr. Weasley's heart by telling him that rubber ducks do not have a 'function' per say.
792- No one is to EVER EVER EVER play music by Justin Bieber, in Hogwarts or anywhere else for that matter.
793- I am not allowed to play the line: "But that was when I ruled the world" from "Viva La Vida" by Cold Play for
Voldemort.
794- I am not allowed to sell Pool Passes to the First Years and tell them the pool is on the 7th Floor.
795- I will not ask Filch how often he turns into a cat
796- Nor if he does so to get with Mrs. Norris.
797- I will not ask how he changes, hes a squib.
798- I will really not ask if Mrs. Norris is good in bed.
799- I will not point and laugh at Harry, exclaiming how all the death threats Trelawney made were actually true.
800 - Professor Snape does not find the phrase "Lockheart is my baby daddy" remotely humorous, especially when written
on any of his belongings.
801 - Spongebob is not a new Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean flavor.
802 - - Neither is parsnip.
803 - - Seeing who can sell the most fake flavors to first years is not an appropriate pastime, and I am not going to
keep their money.
804 – Vanishing Muggles’ books, keys, clothes, cars, etc., is not funny in any way.
805 – Valentine and Voldemort are not the same person.
806 – - Neither are Jace and Draco. Or Clary and Ginny.
807 – - On that note, Draco and Ginny are not in love.
thank you people who added to this
the spot where this started: 586 Things I'm Not Allowed to do at
Hogwarts
now im going for 1,000. do you think everyone who adds to this and i can make it?
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